The post that needs no title.....

My husband is the man I never in a million years dreamed could be mine; his intelligence and social awareness move me...his rugged good looks weaken me. 

I knew I would marry him from the very moment I met him.

He has a wicked glint in his eye and a sense of humour like no other. His hands are strong and capable, and can fix anything that needs a' fixin. His smile melts my heart each time I see it and the way his eyes crinkle as he lets out a belly laugh stop in my tracks. My husband is very much a man. He does not suffer fools lightly which lead to awkward social situations and yet his tenderness and patience with our daughter is awe inspiring. I strive to be more like him. To be as attached as him. I feel so LUCKY and so GRATEFUL that he is mine and more importantly, that he is Avalon's Daddy. He plays the guitar with passion and ease, composing songs for me and his baby girl. I have captured forever in my heart the day he sung a Bengali lullaby to our girl as she drifted to sleep. 

He has helped make my dreams come true, first and foremost by giving me Avalon and secondly for ALWAYS encouraging me in whatever it is that takes my heart's fancy with a reassuring, 'You can do anything." This man loves me without condition.

I could not possibly be more in LOVE with him. 

His hard work and dedication to our family are evident in every minute of his absence. 

I respect his work ethic and his strive for balance; to be a present Father and Husband, yet still provide for us in a way that we do not want for anything. His girls deserve the best. We couldn't ask for more.

There is little for me to say that hasn't already been said to him in the whisperings of just... 'us'... but I want the world to know, that there has never been a better father, partner, lover or friend than this man I call mine.

One person's trash is another person's treasure..

Did I tell you I love charity shops? Well, truth be told, I LOVE a bargain... and this way I feel I am getting the best of both worlds; something cheap, quirky and one-of-a-kind... and also it IS charity (karma points!) and better for the environment than the throw away, mass produced Hight Street.

When I lived in Australia I used to go to the charity job regularly as I always found the most amazing jewellery. Even to this day, one of my most favourite pair of earrings are from St. Vincent de Paul and cost me the phenomenal price of 20c in 2003. I could always snap up a bargain clutch purse ("It's vintage, daaarhling!") and it was the fastest and cheapest way to collect my beloved Stephen King Hardbacks.

When I moved to London in 2005, charity shop trawling took a backseat for a number of reasons.
Firstly, believe it or not, central London does not have a huge amount of charity shops, you have to sort of head out into The 'Burbs to find an Oxfam, British Heart Foundation or Marie Curie...

Secondly, I worked in fashion, so I was pretty happy at that point to take my 200 quid bi-annual shopping allowance for our store instead (and of course it was policy to wear the clothes we were selling).

So since moving  to the country in 2008, I have rekindled my relationship with the charity shop. I have bought everything from writing paper to children's toys, to (more) jewellery and (even more) books.

That brings us to today, and the perfect example of why I like these treasures so much.

En route to getting my afternoon of pampering (maybe another blog entry?) I stopped by the afore mentioned Oxfam and British Heart Foundation in beautiful Farnham, Surrey. Of course, as always, I really just intended to browse... well....

I got a lovely fair trade writing set (made lovingly out of elephant dung no less)... an edition of Jane Austen Compilations in pristine condition AND a red corduroy dress for Avalon at the bargain price of 6.99 GBP when it retailed for 40.00 GBP (Oh yes, I had eyed it in Trotters many a time) which I shall pair with her own red patent mary janes.

This is a love affair I shall continue that is as close to guilt free spending that I think I will ever get. Little do my frineds and family know that this years Christmas gifts will either be handmade, lovingly purchased from a charity shop (thinking GREEN) or from Oxfam Online

Crunchy Credentials, Fluffy Bums & The Kindness of Strangers....

While I was pregnant with Avalon, I looked into using cloth nappies.
My husband and I were concerned about the environmental waste of using disposables and also the cost.
I won't lie, I also think they are more aesthetically pleasing than the ol' papery nappies I see and I can only imagine are more comfortable for babies bottoms.

It didn't take long before I realised that the old terry towelling squares I knew as a child had been replaced by funky, easy and functional modern cloth nappies, or MCN's as they are affectionately known.
Before we could say "I'll take 10 of the bamboo all-in-ones" our excitement turned to trepidation. Out-laying a stash of nappies for baby was going to set us back at least 200 quid! MAJOR BUMMER. Sure, we could see that over much time this option would be cheaper, but initially, it seemed (and was) a mountain of money.

So with much trepidation, Avalon started off in disposable nappies-- now, if I can redeem myself somewhat I will tell you that we purchased the most 'eco-wise' brand that we could (yes, yes, I can see you fellow crunchies snickering at your computer screens!) but even we know it is not the same. Using disposables never sat well with us. We were doing everything else that we felt was right for our daughter; from her birth in the calm and comfort of our living room to co-sleeping with her every night, feeding on demand (not a schedule that suited me), and never leaving her alone to cry. ... and then, here we were covering her bottom in pesky baby (and God knows what else.)

I put my virtual hand up and admitted to some of my fellow crunchies my dilemma, I was honest, and said that money was standing in the way of our cloth bottomed dream.

I connected with fellow cloth lover's on one of my all time favourite bloggers fan sites, Sausage Mama, and was beyond overwhelmed with the response I got... 'Hey, why don't I send you one?'.... and then the offers flowed in.

My husband and I were absolutely awed at the generosity and kindness of these women I had never met (although some of them have been the best virtual friends a gal could have!) Before I could blink, 13 lovely cloth nappies were being sent my way for Avalon. Wow. Just Wow.

I had the honour of meeting the lovely Sausage Mama, who organised the cloth nappy drive for me, and some of the women I had been chatting with through social networking when I went back to see family in Australia over Christmas, and picked up the MCN's for Avalon to use.

So now... I am proud to say, my daughter is a fluffy bum-covered baby, and that my friends, should finally earn me my crunchy credentials!

.... and to those Mamas.... THANK YOU... and Avalon thanks you the most.

Winter Wanderings....

There are few things I love more than a crisp winter's day here in the UK, it is chilly and fresh, yet the sun just keeps on shining. These days are so few and far between that when I wake up and see that piercing blue sky, I have to get out amongst it. It is these days that I think, yes... I DO love living here in the south east of England, and that, when we do eventually move on, I will miss it.

We love our family walks. This is something G and have I always done together and now we have A, it just makes it all the more special.

There are some amazing nature and heritage trails near where we live. Both being from countries that are considered relatively young in terms of history, we are amazed when we stumble upon structures from the 1600's (and sometimes earlier).

Last Sunday we took a walk along the Moor Park Heritage Trail; a one mile walk from Farnham to Waverly Abbey. It was the perfect way to spend a Sunday; in the sun and sloshing through the mud.... Me, G and A in the baby carrier. No pushchairs for us my friends....

New Beginnings...

Here are my New Year's Resolutions for 2011... I have decided to put them out there in the virtual universe, maybe it will help me be accountable for them.

Here goes. In no particularly order.

1. Make more time for reading.

Since having Avalon, I truly feel I have not had a spare moment to read... But then I think of the time I spend on Facebook and remember, well yes, I DO have some time to read.

2. Eating Cleanly.

Ok. So pretty much every year starts with a diet of sorts (apart from last year as I was 7 months pregnant) but THIS time, in a joint initiative with the hubby, we are going to make greener and healthier choices for us and A. Truth be told, we have actually been making steps towards this over the last year. I have stopped eating meat (G considers himself a 'part-time carnivore') We buy organic fruit, vegetables, bread (when we can) and dairy products and we go for less packaging and fair trade products when available. We also avoid 'bad' sugars and sweeteners. Believe it or not, this has very little to do with weight.
This year, we want to take it a step further, particularly now that A is starting to eat bits and pieces... It is called the D.E.S Diet, or the Don't Eat Shit Diet... A phrase coined by Twwly. Of course this goes hand in hand with getting regular exercise... I realise now I cannot neglect myself if I want to be the best person I can be and the best Mum for Avalon.

3. Be present & true.

This one is a little tricky and will probably be the most difficult to stick to.

I find that often I lack confidence to speak my mind when confronted with people and situations I find difficult. I smile and nod. or shy away. Well.... no more. I can no longer be a pushover, or have someone zing me with their negativity. I have realised over the past 12 months how dangerous this has been to me, stewing over conversations, losing sleep... so now? I vow to say my piece...breath...then let it go.
I have come away from meeting with friends and family feeling dejected over their comments and remarks, whether hurtful and negative on purpose or not; either way, I will make a greater effort (for my own well-being) to say what I feels needs to be said. I cannot sit and stew.... it is unhealthy.

I guess only time will tell. But here it is. In writing. I will do my best.

Happy NINO, Baby

Today is Avalon's 9 month birthday... her NINO (nine months in, nine months out) as you will.

What a joyous, emotional, empowering nine, or eighteen months it has been.

I can hardly remember life before she was part of it, Grant and I have been blessed with a beautiful, intelligent (yes- I said it!) child who we learn from everyday. She is a joy to be around, I get equally excited and saddened to see her grow older and love that I spend each and every day with her. My world.

Today Avalon and I made banana and walnut bread, ok, I made it and she watched, before helping to lick the bowl... it is days like this that the world stops for me. Soppy sentimentality is what I am about in this moment. She is my greatest accomplishment and I still look at her in wonder ("I can't believe she is mine!")

I love you, Munchkin.

I'll let John Butler tell you how it is...

2010. The year that was.

Another 12 months have breezed past.... and what a year it has been...


G and I rang in the year at a lovely French restaurant with some dear friends... I would love to say it was a lash of a night but in actuality I was 6 months pregnant, so other than a celebratory glass of bubbly any indulgences were about the garlic and bread. Might I add this is probably the first time since I was about 16 that the beginning of a new year did not herald the start of a diet... I know... sad.

 


January was also filled with a few 'snow days.' After awhile the home confinement becomes not so fun and what was initially a treat becomes incredibly boring.


In February we celebrated G's 30th Birthday and the same restaurant (yes... when I am on to a good thing, I stick to it.) It was a surprise party and am quite pleased with myself that I pulled it off, with customized photo cake and all!


In March I finished work for 12 month maternity leave... I won't lie... that felt great. I love my workmates (and my job) but I was TIRED. and it was COLD. and I just wanted to sit at home... My MIL asked, 'But won't you be bored?'.... Ermmm Heck NO! My estimated due date (EDD) was March 28th so I was looking forward to the me time before the us time.

So, March 28th came and went... I started to get a little fidgety although I knew baby would come when he/she was good and ready... and she did, entering our lives (and our living room) on April 4th, Easter Sunday. That day, is a blog entry in itself.
It is pretty safe to say that the rest of the year flew past in a joyous, emotional haze... wow..... just wow..... 
I cannot explain how I have felt; the degree of emotions, sometimes on a daily basis, are awesome. I am well aware that these are feelings that all Mothers have felt in that first year, but truly, until you experience it yourself, you cannot fathom what it is like. The sleep deprivation has been something that I could not even imagine... but we push through, knowing she is happy and healthy.

My lovely parents and one of my brothers came to visit us in May, it was great... spare pair (or 3) of hands with A and around the house. Thank you. Thank you. Of course they doted on their first grandchild (and niece) with abandon and I was so happy for the love/help/support.


With G's job he can frequently be away, so when my best friend, Kate, came to visit from Australia in June in was a Godsend... 2 weeks of help and conversation and laughs-- Gahhh she saw me at my worst and still stuck around.... gotta love her.


My birthday came in October with little fanfare, G was away (again) but I am luckily enough to have such wonderful friends around me who made the day special for me.


In late November we headed to Australia (HOME!) for a month... what a rejuvenation for my soul... family, friends, sunshine... 4 weeks was not long enough, but I am so grateful for the time I had.

We arrived back to the cold just after Christmas and our New Years Eve was spent in a jetlag haze at some friend's house... a couple of drinks... babies... and Indian food.




I am looking forward (Onwards & Upwards) to what 2011 has in store for our family, we already have a few changes in store and that is just the ones we know about. Hmmmm.... will be a ride.

3am Blogging is awesome... Jetlag? Not so much...

Ok.... so I started this blog last month and haven't revisited it since... Why? Well I have an excellent excuse, we have just had four glorious weeks visiting family in Australia.


Talk about chicken soup for the soul... it had been over 18 months since I had been back home (yes, I am an ex-pat) and hadn't seen my family since April when my daughter, A was born.

I just needed to chill out and enjoy the company of my family and old friends... I would have liked to have included the warmth on my skin but there wasn't a whole lot of that- yes, it was warm (stinking hot some days) but it rained the majority of the time we were there... still an improvement on the snowy conditions we had left behind.

I seem to live in a constant state of feeling like I don't *quite* belong in either place... I guess the UK doesn't really feeling like home and yet when I am back in Australia, I have a sense of melancholy... When I last went back 18 months ago, I felt like a tourist in the place I spent the first 24 years of my life. It was a crazy and unnerving feeling.


But THIS time was different....


The last 4 weeks I found myself missing the UK much less.... maybe it is the pull of family and friends (I don't think it helps that where I grew up is so breathtakingly beautiful)I think my mind has been made up... and some point (soon!) We want to return to Australia... for me that is the place I NEED to be.

To blog. Or not to blog.

For some time now, friends have asked if I had a blog and seemed genuinely surprised when I answered with an emphatic 'No'... I didn't get it... Who has the time for that and what do I have to possibly say that anyone else would be interested in reading? 

Well... as for the time issue, I seem to be able to make time for a myriad of other things (a particular social networking site I am eye-balling you!) and as for what I have to say? Well, maybe my little musings on life and all that is of no consequence to anyone else? This is just for me. To express. To vent. An avenue for my musings and most importantly, to have a 'record' of my family and our life..... Hey, at least I am sure my Mum will read it.

A wise woman I know once wrote; 'Blog to Express, Not Impress' and that has always struck me as the best place to begin. 

So, if you decide to actually read on, here are some of the topics you may find covered;  my family, music, natural & attached parenting, film, books, social issues and anything that inspires and aggravates me.

So, a little bit about me? I love my music loud- from rock to blues, to old school R&B to heavy metal. I find change difficult and try to find balance in my life...I have been told I am opinionated and passionate which I shall take as a complement.

I am ALL about my family; My husband of almost 4 years, Grant and our beautiful daughter, Avalon. We like to live all things 'Green' and follow natural and instinctual parenting; We are a homebirthing, breastfeeding on demand, baby-wearing, co-sleeping family. Call me a hippy if it makes you feel better to use labels, I don't mind...

So, do you still want to stick around? I hope you enjoy.... shall I start?