Saturday, April 21, 2012

Current musing...

I feel like I need to update. I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks and there has been so much going on that I can't put it all to the blogisphere right now. It has been such a transitional time as I entered the last few weeks of pregnancy but also a huge change in dynamics for some personal areas of my life. 

More on that later. Maybe.

So here I am at (officially) 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have had a few moments of thinking 'This is it'; once on Avalon's birthday and again last Thursday which led to some interesting moments and frantic phone calls. It probably sounds strange that I even mention a word like 'frantic' but I find myself much more anxious this time than I did leading up to Avalon's birth. I have no idea why? To me, it defies rational. I have worked through my feelings with my wonderful doula, Rhiannon and keep trying to remember to TRUST BIRTH. Avalon's birth was so straight forward I guess I worry about how this experience might be. I also had little 'sign' of labour with Avalon and have several friends whom have had very short labours the second time around so each twinge can take my breath away. Grant is also 2 hours away during the day so I am hoping that things get moving during the twilight hours.

'Spiritual Midwifery' has been read, as has 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.' I have re-watched 'The Business of Being Born' and reading beautiful, positive homebirth stories from friends. My emotional and mental preparation is so important to me.

In practicality I am ready for this baby; we have the pool, towels, sheets, TENS machine, music, clothes and the list goes on but I am still trying to get my head around labour and even more so, having a second child. Crazy isn't it? I have only had 9 months to get used to the idea. 

The last few weeks I feel my husband and I have become even closer together. We have had some amazingly open moments of communication and his support during a tough emotional time has been a blessing, he truly is 'my rock.' I am so excited at the thought of having another child with him and Avalon becoming a big sister. I know our family will be 'complete' as we want it and we can embrace this new beginning for us all.

I am pretty sure the next time you will be hearing from me our baby will be here. It may not be for several weeks as we bask in the glow of babymoon but I will be back to share the story of our babies birth.

I hope this blog hasn't seemed too disjointed, I only have a few minutes to check in and just wanted to update. So apologies for spelling and grammatical errors. I might also blame baby brain!

I'll be back soon....