A letter to my daughter ~ Hopes & Wishes

My Dearest Avalon,

From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, I imagined holding you in my arms. I stared at that little white stick in our white stucco bathroom and knew I was having a daughter.

As my pregnancy progressed, your father and I never found out 'officially' whether we were going to have a boy or girl but we just knew that you were our baby girl, Avalon. Our Avalon that we had talked about being ours since before we had married.

Never in a million years could I have imagined, or prepared myself, for the overpowering sense of joy, love and fear I would feel when you finally arrived; smooth, tiny and slippery in my arms as we shared our first cuddle. Fear may sound like a funny emotion to have after you were born but I was scared for you coming into this world and the trials you may face. it is not always a kind place, and the thought of you being hurt by someone filled me with dread.

I made a decision to do everything in my power to make this place safe and loving for you and that would start from your very first day with us.

As we near your first birthday, I reflect on the past year and what it has meant to our family. The year has been the hardest I have ever experienced, yet and most importantly, it has been the most joyous, fulfilling, empowering and life affirming. What was life like before we knew you? I can hardly remember. I think it involved a little more sleep.

I want you to know that you have the most wonderful Father that any child could ask for; so patient and kind, so loving and intelligent. He is the first man to love you, although undoubtedly not the last... you are a lucky girl and I am confident that you will always feel safe and secure in Daddy's arms. I would love to think you will always light up as he enters the room, but after being a teenager, I know that sometimes these things subside.

I am learning everyday through you how to be a Mum. I take my cues from you. All I know how to do for sure is love you and that I do with all I have and my every breath. I am far from perfect, I make mistakes, but I promise each day to do better, and be more forgiving of myself.

Through you I am discovering patience like I have never possessed, I am understanding what it is like to be truly needed, to fulfil a role in your life that no other person every could. For this I thank you.

As you grow, I hope you know that I am here for you. First and foremost. Whether you are 4 or 40 years old. My wish for you is to be happy; truly and deeply happy. I hope that you find your path in your own time, and in your own way- and I promise you this- I WILL support you.

I look forward to the day when you find a love that will rock you to your soul and hope you find a partner that will complement you so completely. That you will be shown no little than the utmost respect and love from a mate.

That is my wish for you.

I thank you each and every day for being in my life.... for BEING my life... and for teaching me to be a better woman.

I aspire one day you read these words but that you will not need them to know how very loved, protected and respected you are.

 

* This post came about after seeing a note from The Feminist Breeder. I thought it was a wonderful idea to share with others and most importantly, Avalon.

Family Sunday... The Cotswolds, Gloucestershire

On Sunday Grant decided to surprise us with a day out... not so much a surprise of that we could leave the house, THAT we frequently do, but as in he wouldn't tell me where we were off to.... ok, that he also frequently does!

As usually I started the day with a little sleep-in as my Sundays usually go (Grant will do the 5am shift) and then a skype and webcam call with my parents in Australia.

The weather was looking pretty rubbish so I didn't hold high hopes for what we would be up to, I admit that on drizzly days, instead of just dressing for the weather and braving the elements I tend to hibernate indoors under the duvet feeling warm.

So, I found out we were headed for The Cotswolds, a 2 1/2 hour drive away from us in Hampshire.

Grant had done a little research and looked into some of the villages that make up the area, today, we were headed for Broadway.

It was so picturesque I fell immediately in love with the area, luckily for us the day got brighter as the sky cleared,  even I whom hates long drives, found myself enjoying the journey; it is amazing what scenery of rolling hills and a Starbucks will do... a little Dutch Metal in the CD player and we were good to go.

Avalon snoozed pretty much the whole way and awoke as we made it into Broadway...

What a beautiful place, gift shops, independent pubs and cafe's, antique stores, B&B's... my sort of place.

We stumbled upon a beautiful old church and graveyard, as well as visited the somewhat famous Broadway Tower and saw the deer.

Here are a few snapshots of our family Sunday...

Unfortunately as we left there was a bit of a dampener on our day; my camera had ballsed up and DELETED all my photos (never fear, as you can see they were recovered.) In the ensuing stress, we decided we will return again, hopefully soon.

There is so much more to see of the area, one day will not cut it.

I love our family Sundays...

HOPE in Farnham

Last Thursday I had 4 baby-free hours to myself. 

My dear friend Becky and her husband Denny will be look after Avalon one day a week when I return to work, so I decided to get my haircut, have a look around lovely Farnham and finish some preparation for Avalon's 1st Birthday Party in April while they had her~ a trial if you will for me and her and being apart.

I take Avalon to a baby group every Monday at the Baptist Church in Farnham and knew the church was holding an art competition in conjunction with Farnham UCA. 

The exhibition centred around the idea of 'Hope' and what it meant to each of the artists. I had 30 minutes to kill before my hair appointment and decided to have a look at the exhibition.

I must say I was quite impressed with the work displayed and loved that 'Hope' had a myriad of meanings to the featured artists.

..~..