Heart & Soul... I fell in love with you...

Love ~ Monday 7th March... Alice Holt Forest... walking, coffee, playing on the swings...

February Book Club

This month I have only read one book. I know, not a great start to the year but what can I say, time has just eluded me. Besides the below book that I did finish, I also started Charlie Brooker's 'Dawn of the Dumb.' Hopefully I will finish that by the end of March.

So, this month was all about finding ways to get a little more sleep than satisfying my need for entertainment.

"At long last, I've found a book that I can hand to weary parents with the confidence that they can learn to help their baby sleep through the night--without the baby crying it out."
--William Sears, M.D., Author of The Baby Book

"Are you suffering through sleepless nights and having to fend off a barrage of heartless advice about letting your baby "cry it out"? The No-Cry Sleep Solution will show you how it is entirely possible and within your grasp to help your baby fall asleep peacefully--and stay asleep all night long.

Until now the only two ways to deal with sleepless nights were to let your baby cry herself to sleep or to become a sleep-deprived martyr and tough it out from dusk until dawn. At last, there is a practical and effective third way, thanks to Elizabeth Pantley, a parent educator and mother of four. Pantley is like a best friend who's been there and is full of caring advice to help you and your baby get a good night's sleep. Her ten-step will lead you through the process one day at a time by:

• Shedding new light on your baby's sleep patterns and helping you set realistic goals
• Showing you how to analyze, assess, and improve your baby's sleep patterns using sleep logs
• Offering a variety of sleep solutions that fit every parenting style, whether you cosleep with your baby or she sleeps in a crib or whether you breastfeed or bottlefeed
• Creating a tear-free customized sleep plan that works for both you and your baby

Don't let sleep deprivation keep you from enjoying your baby. The No-Cry Sleep Solution is full of reassuring advice and words of wisdom from other parents who have had success with the program. It will give you the tools you need to effectively and gently reach your goal--a good night's sleep for everyone."
      

So I have been very open in sharing our sleep difficulties and struggles with Avalon. 

I have had a lot of advice from friends along the lines of letting my baby cry herself to sleep.
I personally cannot see how this will enable us or Avalon to have more sleep and I can assure you would mean more stress for all three of us. I understand that my 'Mummy' friends are only trying to help but I can state up and down that I will never use the crying it out (CIO) method in getting Avalon to sleep (the method favoured by Ferber, Gina Ford and Tizzy Hall.) I could write on and on about how I feel negatively about this method and how unhealthy it is for a baby but feel that I will only alienate many around me so I will quite simply say; I can't and won't do it. It goes against my instincts.

So where was that leaving me?

Friends who align themselves with an 'attached', instintual approach to parenting (reflected in the philosophies of Dr. Sears and Jean Liedloff) kept suggesting (besides co-sleeping) to read Elizabeth Pantley's 'No Cry Sleep Solution.'

So, that I did.

Kindly lent to me by my friend, Janet. I found the gentle approaches of this book interesting a helpful. 

We have incorporated a number of Pantley's methods in trying to have a better nights sleep (bedtime routine, understanding feeding and suckling and keeping a sleep log.)

Are we getting any more sleep now than before I read the book? Yes and no... we have had some good and not so great nights; during the last month though we have seen Avalon cut another tooth, be under the weather with temperature and a cough and also Grant was away for 2 weeks for work.

We will keep implementing Pantley's suggestions and I would absolutely recommend her book to anyone that is look for a gentle way to get a little more sleep in their lives.

On this day...

Here is the De Souza family, on this day, the 5th March 2011 in Guildford.

We took a wander around Guildford Castle's grounds including Alice's Garden, named after one time Guildford resident, Lewis Carroll.

It has been a rather chilly day but was refreshing to be out and about enjoying the weather.

We also had lunch at The Garden Room which I recommend... lovely coffee and fresh savoury and sweet pancakes. I love our little lunch dates and treasure our weekend time together.

New things for Avalon this week? We have seen 'oinking' at her toy stuffed pig- although it sounds closer to a snort... after pulling herself to a standing position on an object like the toy box, she will then let good and has been standing unaided for a good 5 minutes... continuations on the mum, mum, dada, kitty, hello... hmmm... I think that is it? Oh and today she drank half of Grant's smoothie at lunch through the straw- her eyelids a flutter and she sipped away. She is also very aware of sharing her food... with Me, Grant and the cat... 

I will add to that she has taken to napping on the couch during the day (as she is now.) She will not do it with me but she frequently falls asleep sitting on the couch next to Grant, cradling under his arm... It is very sweet.

 

Mouth's Cradle

Essentially, there are two reasons why I dig this song ~

1. It is Bjork. 
2. It is a ditty about breastfeeding.

For you.

There is yet another one
That follows me

Where ever I go

And supports me

This tooth is warmth-like

And these teeth are a ladder up to his mouth

These teeth are a ladder that I walk

That you can walk too if you want

If you want up to the mouth

The mouth's cradle

Up to the mouth's cradle

He always has a hope for me

Always sees me when nothing else

And everyone have left

That ghost is brighter than anyone

And fulfils me with hope

And you can use these teeth as a ladder

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

And you can follow these notes i'm singing

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

The simplicity of the ghost-like beast

The purity of what it wants and where it goes

Always love, always loves you, always loves you

Infrared love

And you can use these teeth as a ladder

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

And you can use these teeth follow my voice

Tooth by tooth

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

I need a shelter to build an altar away

From all osamas and bushes 

"Nobody knows it, but you've got a secret smile..."

Avalon is 11 months old today... 

I can hardly believe she will be one year old in a month, I can hardly believe it has been a year since I gave birth to her; the greatest love I have known.

I am busy preparing her first birthday at the moment, a Hungry Little Caterpillar party for her and her friends. It will also be bitter sweet as it is a joint party with her friend, Owen (and our dear friends, Tracy & Marty) who are moving back to Australia only 2 days after the celebration. We will miss them so much, we have become very close to them and Tracy has been a wonderful support to me over the past year (I have only known her a year too.)

Today we had lunch with friends (including Owen and his Mum) and the went for a walk in Farnham and also to Manor Park from our house. The kids had balloons and it amazes me that such simple things bring them such happiness.

Avalon has also cut her second tooth within the past week and has been 'eating' more and more. 

I have written many a time about how I am in awe of how she changes and grows, each day there is something new for me to discover about her, and watching her make her way in the world is awesome yet humbling.

As we head into March I can feel the weather getting a little milder... the sun is shining that bit warmer and the darkness takes longer to come in the evenings. I am so excited for the Summer months; to spend even more time with her in the outdoors; walking, playing, exploring. By that time she may be walking and I cannot wait. 

She is our absolute joy and all we do is for her. 

....and on a purely vain note...

Week 1 of the I gotta-lose-the-extra-jiggly-now Plan has been a rousing (and surprising) success!

4 1/2 lbs in my first week! Way to go Mama!... even if I do pat myself on the back.

I would like to thank saying 'No' to chocolate and lots of feeding cuddles with my lovely daughter for the success.

YES.

I just had to do it... the funny thing is I can't even blame baby weight, this is pre-baby weight. Thankfully, I have set small and regular goals so hopefully I can stay on track... this time. There comes a point when you acknowledge that things need to change. This is one of them.

Roll on (no pun intended) Week 2.

I survived my baby-free day...

Today my mother-in-law looked after Avalon for a few hours as a 'trial' as I'll be returning to work in 4 weeks. I have ummed and ahhhed and gone back and forth for months with how I feel about this, but the truth of the matter is, our family needs the additional income and I would like to stay within the work environment somewhat. I really do love the company and all that it stands for. I am proud to say I work for them.

That being said, I was so apprehensive about leaving her this morning that I admit, I made excuses to hang around the house for longer than intended.

I know, I know, many a Mum may relinquish the time away but I really didn't know what to do with myself at first? I have felt a little under the weather lately and probably could have used a day to just mooch around the house. But, a deal is a deal, and I made myself scarce for several hours into Guildford to do a spot of shopping, reading and eating.

I won't lie, it WAS lovely to sit for an hour in a cafe drinking my coffee quietly and reading my book without interruption apart from long enough to give a 'right on!' smile to a Mum next to me breastfeeding her newborn. In hindsight she probably thought I was a little weird.

After spending some of our hard earned cash in HMV and Topshop I met with a work colleague for a bite of noodles at wagamama, one of my favourite places to eat. It was great to catch up with her, whenever I do see people that I work with I find myself missing them and the environment. If I could work out a way to go to work and take Avalon I would be a happy lady.... maybe she could be my Mail Assistant? I could teach her to use the franking machine? Ok... again I digress.

I was gone a grand total of 5 hours. I found myself rushing home after lunch as I wanted to be with her. I missed her immensely, yet in the same sense, I think the time apart did us both well....

Let me explain...

I think I am a better mother for her when I have had a little room to breath, a little time to myself. I can only speak for myself and the relationship between Avie and I. We spend so much time together, as we should and as I relish, and it is nice to reconnect with friends and most importantly myself.

Today I could wear clothing I didn't have to think about having to manoeuvre to feed her, a necklace that I didn't have to think about being broken from my neck by busy, exploring little hands.

I feel the 'Mum' she gets is refreshed and revived, ready to sing 'Row your Boat' with gusto for the trillionth time and that is what we did this afternoon; played, sang, took photographs (well I took photographs, she is my muse.)

She had a lovely time time with Granny; they went into town and for a walk, played at home with the blocks and her new favourite toy (my necklaces) and shared some oatmeal. It was reassuring to know that she was, well, OK... and ok with me away for a little while. I have stamped on my heart that beautiful smile I got when I came home, the same smile Grant gets when he returns everyday.

Music Video Monday

Just because.

Nirvana performing About A Girl on MTV Unplugged in 1993.

My Daddy is a Super Army Soldier!

Grant will be leaving the military in a few months so I grabbed the opportunity to take a few photos of he and Avalon this morning in his 2's uniform.

In the almost 6 years we have been together I have never seen him in this uniform, only his 1's which he wore for our wedding in 2007.

He looks so handsome and I am so proud of him everyday.

Here is Avalon and her adoring Daddy... and... likewise.

Inspiration~ Love~ Education

Here is one of my favourite poems by the talented and inspirational, Maya Angelou.
I first read this when I was about 15 years old and it resonated with this girl who was not as 'perfect' as those around her... I wish I knew then what I do now...

PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou (1978)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.