On this day...

Here is the De Souza family, on this day, the 5th March 2011 in Guildford.

We took a wander around Guildford Castle's grounds including Alice's Garden, named after one time Guildford resident, Lewis Carroll.

It has been a rather chilly day but was refreshing to be out and about enjoying the weather.

We also had lunch at The Garden Room which I recommend... lovely coffee and fresh savoury and sweet pancakes. I love our little lunch dates and treasure our weekend time together.

New things for Avalon this week? We have seen 'oinking' at her toy stuffed pig- although it sounds closer to a snort... after pulling herself to a standing position on an object like the toy box, she will then let good and has been standing unaided for a good 5 minutes... continuations on the mum, mum, dada, kitty, hello... hmmm... I think that is it? Oh and today she drank half of Grant's smoothie at lunch through the straw- her eyelids a flutter and she sipped away. She is also very aware of sharing her food... with Me, Grant and the cat... 

I will add to that she has taken to napping on the couch during the day (as she is now.) She will not do it with me but she frequently falls asleep sitting on the couch next to Grant, cradling under his arm... It is very sweet.

 

Mouth's Cradle

Essentially, there are two reasons why I dig this song ~

1. It is Bjork. 
2. It is a ditty about breastfeeding.

For you.

There is yet another one
That follows me

Where ever I go

And supports me

This tooth is warmth-like

And these teeth are a ladder up to his mouth

These teeth are a ladder that I walk

That you can walk too if you want

If you want up to the mouth

The mouth's cradle

Up to the mouth's cradle

He always has a hope for me

Always sees me when nothing else

And everyone have left

That ghost is brighter than anyone

And fulfils me with hope

And you can use these teeth as a ladder

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

And you can follow these notes i'm singing

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

The simplicity of the ghost-like beast

The purity of what it wants and where it goes

Always love, always loves you, always loves you

Infrared love

And you can use these teeth as a ladder

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

And you can use these teeth follow my voice

Tooth by tooth

Up to the mouth's cradle, the mouth's cradle

I need a shelter to build an altar away

From all osamas and bushes 

"Nobody knows it, but you've got a secret smile..."

Avalon is 11 months old today... 

I can hardly believe she will be one year old in a month, I can hardly believe it has been a year since I gave birth to her; the greatest love I have known.

I am busy preparing her first birthday at the moment, a Hungry Little Caterpillar party for her and her friends. It will also be bitter sweet as it is a joint party with her friend, Owen (and our dear friends, Tracy & Marty) who are moving back to Australia only 2 days after the celebration. We will miss them so much, we have become very close to them and Tracy has been a wonderful support to me over the past year (I have only known her a year too.)

Today we had lunch with friends (including Owen and his Mum) and the went for a walk in Farnham and also to Manor Park from our house. The kids had balloons and it amazes me that such simple things bring them such happiness.

Avalon has also cut her second tooth within the past week and has been 'eating' more and more. 

I have written many a time about how I am in awe of how she changes and grows, each day there is something new for me to discover about her, and watching her make her way in the world is awesome yet humbling.

As we head into March I can feel the weather getting a little milder... the sun is shining that bit warmer and the darkness takes longer to come in the evenings. I am so excited for the Summer months; to spend even more time with her in the outdoors; walking, playing, exploring. By that time she may be walking and I cannot wait. 

She is our absolute joy and all we do is for her. 

....and on a purely vain note...

Week 1 of the I gotta-lose-the-extra-jiggly-now Plan has been a rousing (and surprising) success!

4 1/2 lbs in my first week! Way to go Mama!... even if I do pat myself on the back.

I would like to thank saying 'No' to chocolate and lots of feeding cuddles with my lovely daughter for the success.

YES.

I just had to do it... the funny thing is I can't even blame baby weight, this is pre-baby weight. Thankfully, I have set small and regular goals so hopefully I can stay on track... this time. There comes a point when you acknowledge that things need to change. This is one of them.

Roll on (no pun intended) Week 2.

I survived my baby-free day...

Today my mother-in-law looked after Avalon for a few hours as a 'trial' as I'll be returning to work in 4 weeks. I have ummed and ahhhed and gone back and forth for months with how I feel about this, but the truth of the matter is, our family needs the additional income and I would like to stay within the work environment somewhat. I really do love the company and all that it stands for. I am proud to say I work for them.

That being said, I was so apprehensive about leaving her this morning that I admit, I made excuses to hang around the house for longer than intended.

I know, I know, many a Mum may relinquish the time away but I really didn't know what to do with myself at first? I have felt a little under the weather lately and probably could have used a day to just mooch around the house. But, a deal is a deal, and I made myself scarce for several hours into Guildford to do a spot of shopping, reading and eating.

I won't lie, it WAS lovely to sit for an hour in a cafe drinking my coffee quietly and reading my book without interruption apart from long enough to give a 'right on!' smile to a Mum next to me breastfeeding her newborn. In hindsight she probably thought I was a little weird.

After spending some of our hard earned cash in HMV and Topshop I met with a work colleague for a bite of noodles at wagamama, one of my favourite places to eat. It was great to catch up with her, whenever I do see people that I work with I find myself missing them and the environment. If I could work out a way to go to work and take Avalon I would be a happy lady.... maybe she could be my Mail Assistant? I could teach her to use the franking machine? Ok... again I digress.

I was gone a grand total of 5 hours. I found myself rushing home after lunch as I wanted to be with her. I missed her immensely, yet in the same sense, I think the time apart did us both well....

Let me explain...

I think I am a better mother for her when I have had a little room to breath, a little time to myself. I can only speak for myself and the relationship between Avie and I. We spend so much time together, as we should and as I relish, and it is nice to reconnect with friends and most importantly myself.

Today I could wear clothing I didn't have to think about having to manoeuvre to feed her, a necklace that I didn't have to think about being broken from my neck by busy, exploring little hands.

I feel the 'Mum' she gets is refreshed and revived, ready to sing 'Row your Boat' with gusto for the trillionth time and that is what we did this afternoon; played, sang, took photographs (well I took photographs, she is my muse.)

She had a lovely time time with Granny; they went into town and for a walk, played at home with the blocks and her new favourite toy (my necklaces) and shared some oatmeal. It was reassuring to know that she was, well, OK... and ok with me away for a little while. I have stamped on my heart that beautiful smile I got when I came home, the same smile Grant gets when he returns everyday.

Music Video Monday

Just because.

Nirvana performing About A Girl on MTV Unplugged in 1993.

My Daddy is a Super Army Soldier!

Grant will be leaving the military in a few months so I grabbed the opportunity to take a few photos of he and Avalon this morning in his 2's uniform.

In the almost 6 years we have been together I have never seen him in this uniform, only his 1's which he wore for our wedding in 2007.

He looks so handsome and I am so proud of him everyday.

Here is Avalon and her adoring Daddy... and... likewise.

Inspiration~ Love~ Education

Here is one of my favourite poems by the talented and inspirational, Maya Angelou.
I first read this when I was about 15 years old and it resonated with this girl who was not as 'perfect' as those around her... I wish I knew then what I do now...

PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou (1978)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Blessings

I know, I know, I harp on a bit and it is so sickly sweet but I truly do thank my lucky stars for my man... I couldn't ask for a better partner, friend, lover or father for my daughter.

Have you seen a sweeter face?

walking, walking, walking

I have been unwell for a couple of days with fever, chills and all around general yuck and he just totally takes over. Even as I am sick I feel guilty that I am laying in bed on our weekend together~ that is much cherished family time and I can hardly raise my head.

We had plans to see family at Winchester farmers Market and, as I later discovered, he had a 'surprise' outing organised to a National Trust site... maybe next weekend..

He is ever so patient with me when I holler and call for provisions, all the while caring for Avalon and doing what needs to be done around the house (double yuck).

Avalon lights up like Christmas when he is around and watching them play together is life and love affirming.

So, here I am feeling less than hot and thanking my lucky stars and whoever *may* be above for the two greatest treasures in my life.

Playing on a Saturday morning...

My joy...

ART. Appreciation. Part deux

• Painting: Mother and Child
• Artist: Gustav Klimt
• Style: Vienna Sezession
• Medium: Oil on canvas
• Year: 1905
• Museum: Galleria Nazionale d'Arte Moderna
• Museum Location: Rome, Italy

I love the colour and detail in Klimt's work and 'Mother and Child' is no exception.

Painted in 1905, it was part of his 'Three Ages of Women' collection.

This piece has always been a favourite painting of mine; I remember first seeing it (not in person unfortunately) during my final year of school, studying art for my higher school certificate. Now as a Mother I identify with the love, security and protection envisioned in the painting and subject. I hope to see it one day in Rome.

Something new each day....

This week Avalon is moving even faster.... it amazes me how quickly she is developing and in a matter of days I can see a huge difference in her movements. I really need eyes in the back of my head now as I turn and she is halfway across the room crawling.

She freely pulls herself up on to people, the couch, the TV stand. She is couch surfing to get where she needs to be. I marvel watching her and seeing her look at her hands and feet and the wondrous new things they are doing.

I must add she is also a terribly flirt... I catch her repeatedly making sweets eyes at just about any man we encounter. Grant had a friend over the other night and she would not leave his side, it makes me so happy to see her so confident socially with others- always smiling and cuddling up to my friends. I love that whenever we are in a store she is full of smiles for the clerks, my baby girl does me proud. I still have moments where I can't believe someone so beautiful is mine.... but I am gushing.

She is high five-ing with her Dad, "singing" in her own little way and talking to her toys (I would love to understand what she is saying!) She says Mum, Dad, Hi, Kitty (although it sounds like Titty) and let us not forget the infamous shimmy dance. I love to watch her wiggle her little bottom as she stands at her walker.

I am rubbish at filling out 'baby books' and I hope I always have this to look back on and marvel at the milestones she is reaching. We are so proud of our little girl.

UPDATE!!

Avalon just walked behind her Vtech walker... all by herself... and Grant was home to see it *heart explodes* x

Old friends/New friends...

K & A in Germany February 2008

Today I finally caught up with two very dear friends I haven't seen in three years.

It was a long time coming and as Amy said, 'It is a sign of a good friend that we can just pick up where we left off.'

Kelly, Amy and I met when we were all posted to Elmpt Barracks in Germany with our husbands.The three of us child-free, I guess we gravitated toward each other as it was difficult (well, for me anyway) to make friends on the camp if you didn't have children. There seemed to be a plethora of social groups for Mother's and their children but nothing for women that had not taken that step and had only married the men we loved and found ourselves whisked away to a foreign country... anyway, I digress.

Kelly's lovely other half actually organised a 'playdate' between her and I (Thanks Chris!) and Amy and I worked in the same building.

These two ladies were absolute gems for my sanity (and my social life) whilst living in Germany, I had a handful of friends and a job I enjoyed yet theses two I felt an immediate kinship with. I don't know how to describe it other than we just clicked. We all shared a deep love for sarcasm, trash TV and Chinese Food-- and we all suffered fools very lightly which often had us in snitches over cups of coffee. I had the honour of going to Amy's 12 week ultrasound and Kelly took great pity on me and drove me around when I was car-less.

I was so sad to say good bye to them in 2008. It wasn't fun (but a way of army life) to move again so soon as I had only been in Germany 11 months. I don't really like change and I find it difficult to make good friends- what can I say, if we don't have a commonality, it just isn't going to work.

The three of us have kept in contact thanks to social networking and that has been a fantastic tool in keeping each other up to date with the other's lives and of course a good gossip every now and then.

Fast forward three years and we find ourselves living within an hour (or two) from each other and having four children between us! How lovely to introduce our little "A's" to each other (Avalon, Amelia, Amber and Ava) and again, connect with like-minded Mamas!

Thank you for the laughs girls and we must do it more often, It didn't take me long after that move three years ago to realise you were two of a kind.