5 in 60 seconds... Books

Here are 5 of my favourite novels... in no particular order.... the first that came to mind in under a minute.

I decided not to ponder too long on this or else I WILL change my mind... so for whatever reason, when I think of the films I love-- these stood out.

All of these works cover a different genre of writing yet they have left a lasting impression on my writing and way of thinking. They are also all novels that I have re-read again and again.

Time to PAR-TAY!!

Today we attended our very first 1st Birthday Party. I have a feeling there will be many more this year and we are all looking forward to it!

The De Souzas had an absolute blast and wish Lily, Izzy & Tomos a very Happy Birthday, it has been an absolute pleasure getting to know you over the past 12 months and seeing you grow.

The hypocrasy of FACEBOOB from a Lactivist Mama

This week my facebook account was disabled.

Why I hear you ask? Well, because I dared to upload a photo of me, breastfeeding my daughter less than an hour after her birth. Without a doubt, this is one of my most cherished memories and an awesome snapshot of this time in my life.

Here is the offending photograph; me in all my breastfeeding, birthy glow glory...

Last Tuesday afternoon I received an email from Facebook to say that I had violated their terms and conditions by uploading an 'offensive' photo.

Since they work hard to keep Facebook 'safe for children' it was deleted and my account was disabled until further notice. I assume it was disabled as I recall at least 2 other occasions where I have had a photograph removed and received warning- oh yes, both were breastfeeding photos.

I queried why my account had been de-activated, and after 24 hours, it was re-activated, with the above photo removed and an 'understanding' from me that this was offensive material. Seriously.

Now, this is not a new issue; it has been happening for a very long time and people are angry.
I have had a number of friends whose accounts have been disabled due to them uploading similar 'offensive' content. One of my good friends has had her fan page disabled for well over a month as I type this; with no explanation. It is beyond ridiculous!

I was so worried about my 100 photo albums I have on the account, all uploaded over the past 3 years, I really can't afford to lose them. Some of my fellow lactivist friends have seen so much of their hard work be discarded because of an anonymous report from someone. That is all it takes. A 'tip off' from a person who finds the idea of feeding a child disgusting (yes, I can't wrap my head around it.) Maybe if these folks had been breastfed more as children they wouldn't feel the way they do about boobies *oh snap!*

So what do I think? Besides thinking Facebook is run by misogynistic, sexist, infantile men? That people are offended by women feeding children because they are conditioned to believe that breasts are only for men to ogle, that formula is 'just as good' as breastmilk, that if you are going to breastfeed your child, it is a private thing that should not been done in public.

Don't even get me started on my theory that most complaints about this come from women!  As my friend Dave said, 'What man complains about breasts- any breasts?' (thanks for the giggle, Dave.)

You can find groups on social networking sites like Facebook for just about anything, including I Love Boobs yet women are having photos from their personal accounts deleted because nourishing a child the way nature intended is offensive. Quite simply. Tools.

We as a society need to see women feeding their children as they have been for centuries, new mothers need to be supported and encouraged before and after birth to give their children the very best start in life. It is not hard, and it is not easy- SUPPORT and EDUCATION. The more we see it, the more 'normal' breastfeeding will appear. Yes, it saddens me to even have to type that.

So what can I do? I am a friend to offer you any help/tips I can, an ear to listen to when you need to talk about what is going on and how you feel, a Mother that breastfeeds her 10 month old in Starbucks, on a train, on a plane, in a meeting with HR (yes- I did!) ANYWHERE she needs to be fed. End of.

So, the marvellous thing here is that on my blog, I can post whatever I like.

Since I believe so strongly in the value and importance of breastfeeding and SEEING IT, so it is not considered 'weird, uncomfortable or indiscreet'... feast your eyes on this goodness...

Not me... but a great postcard I found in Mt. Tambourine

I promise you, I am not an exhibitionist, but my mind boggles that people are offended by a child being nourished, seriously?? What the fuck is wrong with people? For my photo to be deleted someone had to report it, and that someone is probably on my 'friends list' and to that person I say, "Number one, get help as you have a problem and number 2, DON'T LOOK.... 'unfriend me'... whatever!"

So, quite frankly Facebook, you can suck it! (pun intended.)

Je t'aime

I will admit, Valentines day has never been a huge 'deal' in our house (nor was it for me growing up.) I remember my parents didn't celebrate it but I have a cherished memory of receiving an 'anonymous' rose one year~ beautifully wrapped in a cylinder with babies breath flowers. For a chubby girl with little self esteem it certainly brightened my day... even if it turned out to be from my Father.... Thanks Dad, I love you.

I guess without sounding a little cynical, Grant and I have not put a whole lot of weight in it, it is also 2 days from his birthday as well so that explains a lot. Either way, I like to think we do nice things for each other all the time...

So that being said, I decided to get Grant a little token gift this year, along with his birthday gift; a little box of Belgian chocolates and the trinket box Avalon made. I myself, received this:

Yep, the boy did well. A canvas of photographs....It was so thoughtful and covered our time together over the past (almost) 6 years; dating, London, Australia, married, Germany, Pregnant, Avalon. A memory canvas for our wall.

Grant was only home for a couple of days before he was off on military exercise for another week so we made the most of the weekend. Saturday was his birthday and I wanted to do something a little different this year and I put together a hamper for him. I had spent the week before running around and collecting some bits and pieces I knew he would enjoy.

Grant's favourites; wine, sweets, biltong, Rooibos, Chocolate, books, recipe folder and tea sub, Avalon's coaster.

As usual, the day started with cuddles...

......then a pancake breakfast courtesy of Aunt Jemima (ha!)

After our fill, we decided on a day in Basingstoke (or Basingraad, as Grant calls it.) After a wonder and a shop, it was Spanish tapas time at La Tasca....

"I want bread, dad!"

mmmmmmmmm

So a lovely day was had by all, although we were all very tired from a not so great night's sleep before. Unfortunately, G had to leave again on the Sunday for a week.... but.... Happy 31st Birthday my love>

*Heart Explodes*

painting by Juan De' Prey

~journal the date~
Today, even though she has been ill, we had dancing (shimmy-ing and boogie-ing to music) as well as High Fives!...
Happy birthday, Daddy...
*Almost* as good as the excitable 'Dad!!' you got Thursday night when you came to bed...
A little thing to anyone else, but the memory is ours x

Made with a lotta love... and paint... and plaster.

During the week, Avalon and I visited Farnham Ceramics Cafe with the purpose of making Big Daddy some Valentines Day and Birthday gifts.

I have past this quirky little art cafe on many occasions and was curious as to what it was all about, not only a great place for children, but also for the budding artist within (tongue firmly in cheek.)

Added to my laundry list of things I 'want to do' (make a quilt for Avalon, do her placenta prints, refashion some of her T's) handmade crafts are what I am interested in. I cannot wait to do more with her as she gets older.

We toddled into Farnham with Nina & her gorgeous daughter, Izzy as they had been to the cafe before (The Izzy bum print plate is the stuff of legend) and I wanted their help-- May I suggest, help is a good thing when it comes to painting activities with a 10 month old

Oooh something to chew...

...or to drum with

Maisie apron time!

Let the fun begin...

masterpiece.

Crisis (semi) averted.

the artist pleased with her masterpiece!

For 'Daddy'...

We did good, kid.

We made Grant a heart shaped trinket box for Valentines Day; Avalon painted it herself with her hands (and attempted to eat it as well) and then we gave him the footprint coaster/plaque for his birthday.

It was a blast and I can't wait to take her back again and make more ceramic lovelies. There is so much to choose from that you could fill the house; from clocks to serving dishes to money boxes. It is so easy too, paint and create one day and a few days later collect your work all fired in the kiln and ready for display.

... a beautiful Mummy & Me afternoon.

Thank you so much to my dear friend Nina for her help (and photos) x

Le Madame du Café Montmartre

Tucked within a hidden alley

Just beyond the city square

Lies a rather fine establishment

To which no other can compare.

Some may find it fairly seedy;

However, the locals do all know

For cabernet and romance,

It is the only place to go.

The menu changes nightly

With the jazz a bit too loud;

Arriving after the dinner hour,

You'll likely miss the crowd.

For once the din subsides,

Lovers' whispers can be heard

Though the anticipation's felt

Without deciphering a word.

Overseeing each exchange

Is the proprietress we all know

As the highly regarded feline -

The Madame of Café Momo.

Immune to flattery of any sort,

She silently sips her wine

From a shadowed corner table

At which she later may dine.

On a perfectly blackened salmon

Or a well-seasoned florentine.

She'll rarely offer the time of day

Or acknowledge you've been seen.

Yet, let us make no mistake,

Not a moment does she miss

For her unblinking eyes

Catch each and every stolen kiss.

Greeting the dance of courtship

With her characteristic ennui,

She'll certainly bear her claws

If any disrespect comes to be.

Each one of her divas,

Though so eager to present,

In Madame's eyes remains naïve

Despite beauty heaven-sent.

All throughout the evening,

Her queens coif and they groom

While pondering which lucky tom

They'll invite back to their room.

Each must meet Madame's approval

Or back out to the street he'll go

For once the cabaret commences,

Nothing comes before the show.

Even Madame will perform tonight

As the first upon the stage

While the pianist's paws fumble

Through the music on the page.

Reassuring her accompaniment,

She saunters across the floor.

Yes, those remaining are here to stay

As she latches the front door.

The strings, at last, come in tune

As the houselights slowly fall;

And, Madame's moonlight croon

Never once turns to caterwaul.

See, Madame in her youth

Knew the fierce love of a tom;

But, it wasn't too much later,

She found herself a mom.

She knows first-hand the hardship

Of alone caring for young lives

For seldom do the toms return

To take their mistresses as wives.

The fate of Madame's little ones

Is, indeed, a sad story to tell

For the ferals of the city streets

Often know a living hell.

If you watch her face closely,

You may notice a tear, though rare.

This is not a show of weakness

But the offering of a prayer

That requests of the heavens

For her heart to one day mend

Though she knows many souls,

In innocence, will meet their end.

Thus, Madame has made it clear

As her own dues have been paid

That each queen in this cathouse

Makes it a priority to be spayed.

Though none of these lovely ladies

Hesitate to make her desires known,

Madame's ensured they'll never live

Through a heartbreak of their own. 

~ Kelly Bodeaux

... 2 of my loves... Montmartre and feline friends... Thank you Kelly, whoever you are.

5 in 60 seconds... Film

Here are 5 of my favourite films... in no particular order.... the first that came to mind in under a minute.

I decided not to ponder too long on this or else I WILL change my mind... so for whatever reason, when I think of the films I love-- these stood out.

I consider myself a bit of a film buff, not in a pretentious sort of way- just that I love the escapism, I love the story... and according to my (sub conscious) picks; brunette beauties (that includes you, Colin.)

I will try this again another time and see what I come up with... Expect also albums, books, musicians and more in a similar exercise in lfuture blog entries.

Single Mamas, I take my hat off to you...

What. A Week.

I knew it was going to be tough before it even began.

Grant was scheduled to be away for 2 weeks with work and I was far from looking forward to it all last weekend.

Not only would I miss him terribly, but it was going to be so hard being a 'single parent' for that time.

Unfortunately, this was not the first time Grant has been away since Avalon was born, he has been away twice before (each for 2 weeks) but this time I was just really not happy about it.

I have been more than forth coming with my honesty regarding Avalon and sleep, and 10 months on am feeling completely drained with each night of only a couple of hours interrupted sleep. My mood has been getting darker and have found that I am pulling away from the company of others-- I had needed help--- but I also just want to be left alone.

The day after Grant left, Avalon became sick; a runny nose then progressed into an infected eye, then two, and that culminated in a night of hell Wednesday. My poor little baby spent the entire night screaming as her eyes were stuck shut, with a blocked nose she could hardly breath from and on top of it all, was burning up. It was beyond upsetting to see her in such a state-- and I became scared as it had been only 3 months since I had seen her like this and that was the worst time of my life.

5am Thursday morning I took her to the emergency room at the local hospital; 4 hours later after seeing a nurse, doctor then paediatrician, we were sent home with the diagnosis: Viral Infection.

If she hadn't been so scarily unwell last November with Septicaemia I would not have been so 'panicky' but I was alone and the last time she went down hill so quickly, it was not worth the stalling.

On the plus side, Grant was sent home. Hopefully he won't have to return on Sunday to be away another week. I need all the help I can get at the moment (This very moment he is soothing Avalon back to sleep.) She is still not 100% but is on the mend. I hate when she is sick. It is awful, as it is for any parent-- you feel so helpless and would do anything to alleviate their pain.

There has been some great moments this week, tomorrow is Grant's 31st birthday so I have been getting his gift together. Avalon and I had a great time at Farnham Ceramics Cafe--That will be another blog after the big day. We did bits and bobs in Guildford and I wasn't having the best day emotionally, yet took a moment out-- had a cup of coffee and nursed my baby girl. I found that very calming. I know how strange that may sound as I feed her on demand. But because of they way I had been struggling, this particularly day will stay with me. We sat in the car, chilling out to Ben Harper and having a smiley feed.

Single Mothers.... Single Fathers... My hat is off to you. I honestly don't know how you do it.

I had a great laugh with my girlfriends today. It is rejuvenating to have a coffee and a giggle with Mamas that know (to some extent) how I feel.

Logging off.

So I have decided to have a self imposed internet/computer/facebook detox.

I am not sure for how long, but now seems to be the perfect opportunity with Grant being away.
The last month I have felt like I can't get on top of anything I need to do; all the computer stuff is getting in the way. Between emails, starting this blog, administrating (with others) 3 facebook pages, having 2 accounts, working on a business start up (yay!) and just your general faffing about I have seen my 'To Do' list grow longer and longer.

So I am logging off for an undisclosed amount of time.

I may be back sooner than you think but we will see.

So what do I plan to do? Tackle getting this house in shape, finish the pile of books I have waiting for me to read (including Elizabeth Pantley's The No-Cry Sleep Solution) watch some films, listen to music (why have I stopped this other than in the car?) and most importantly, spending even more quality time with Avalon.

So, Ciao for now, and see you when, well, I feel like it.

Army life SUCKS

Off to exercise (another year, a snowy February)

Ok, so tomorrow G is off for 2 weeks on military exercise. I hate this. As if it is not hard enough with the small amount of sleep we get each night I am left to do it alone for 2 weeks. he is such an amazing support on those nights (and days) when it all feels just a little too much. It is pretty typical of his unit to not understand how we need him here, as the phrase goes;

If the army wanted their soldiers to have a family, they would be issued with one.

I am counting the days until he leaves (he signed off last October.)

Hopefully we will be living the civilian life by the Summer. I am excited for the opportunities that lie ahead and most importantly leaving behind this lifestyle. No more moving, no more having your life dictated to you, no more hubby being away for pointless reasons and YES I think this exercise is pointless.

For as long as we have been married, Grant has been away, not only for his birthday, but for mine. Well that will all change soon. He is looking forward to not being told when to shine his boots and get a haircut- a little too much for a 30 year old, don'tcha think? As he said, a phrase borrowed from a fellow colleague, "I am not a big enough arsehole for this...' I know what he means and it makes me laugh, it is no disrespect to the others he works with, but works for? well....

So what am I going to do over the next 2 weeks? Enjoy my time with Avalon, taking it slow each day, seeing friends when we want and just being present with each other. Today has been a great example, as Grant has been busy preparing a lesson for the exercise and packing (HOURS of work- on a Saturday) the Little Miss and I have been playing with her toys and reading her new animals book we picked up from Oxfam today (she loves the touchy/feely books.

 I am excited to be seeing a friend next week I haven't seen for 3 years and introduce our girls to each other. It will be a great time but we will just miss our main man. Love you babe x