Evolve

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."

I have had a sense of melancholy of late watching Avalon go from baby to toddler. Time is rushing forward and although I am excited and marvelled by every new development I am also saddened that she is no longer a little babe. Her personality is strong, she is extremely impressionable and she is nothing short of a delight. Looking at her, I have my moments of broodiness, I feel an ache for another baby and then as quickly as the feeling overcame me, it dissipates. For now.

Until I was a mother I never truly understood how a person's life would change.

More importantly, how I would change. I couldn't fathom how mummyhood would grip me, consume me and alter my being.

At 28 years old, I became a mum earlier than I thought I ever would. I viewed parenthood as the hardest role one could undertake, and I knew I wanted to 'do it right' when the time was right.  I likewise swore up and down that I wouldn't become one of 'those' women who only spoke about her children, who started the day with baby sick on their shoulder without a second thought, who disregarded so much of her former self to be Mum. 'Those' people who stopped being fun, stopped having a voice of interest. I would go so far as to say I looked at those that did with a perceived air of disdain. Silly rabbit.

I challenge anyone that makes a child their number one priority to NOT be consumed.You live, eat, breath and sleep (somewhat) for your child. You (may) stay at home with them, be with them 24 hours a day, you create distance from those that do not understand the momentous shift in your life. I realise now how NATURAL this is, how normal this is, and I how I wouldn't want to be any other way.

I could never have imagined I would be so passionate about natural parenting. That I'd be breastfeeding her at 16 months old (and counting). That she would frequently share our bed and  I would not pursue strict routines for her life.

I imagine friends and family look upon my journey with bemusement. But that is life. I am learning. It is OK.

I am a mother.
I am a partner.
I have hopes and dreams that are totally my own.
I am changed through my life experience and I wouldn't want it any other way.

The 'old' me, who was not a mother is still very much present, she is not lost.

 

As I am passionate about natural parenting, I am still so about social justice... art... music.

This was my journey to me. I am still me, the me I was always supposed to be.