Today my mother-in-law looked after Avalon for a few hours as a 'trial' as I'll be returning to work in 4 weeks. I have ummed and ahhhed and gone back and forth for months with how I feel about this, but the truth of the matter is, our family needs the additional income and I would like to stay within the work environment somewhat. I really do love the company and all that it stands for. I am proud to say I work for them.
That being said, I was so apprehensive about leaving her this morning that I admit, I made excuses to hang around the house for longer than intended.
I know, I know, many a Mum may relinquish the time away but I really didn't know what to do with myself at first? I have felt a little under the weather lately and probably could have used a day to just mooch around the house. But, a deal is a deal, and I made myself scarce for several hours into Guildford to do a spot of shopping, reading and eating.
I won't lie, it WAS lovely to sit for an hour in a cafe drinking my coffee quietly and reading my book without interruption apart from long enough to give a 'right on!' smile to a Mum next to me breastfeeding her newborn. In hindsight she probably thought I was a little weird.
After spending some of our hard earned cash in HMV and Topshop I met with a work colleague for a bite of noodles at wagamama, one of my favourite places to eat. It was great to catch up with her, whenever I do see people that I work with I find myself missing them and the environment. If I could work out a way to go to work and take Avalon I would be a happy lady.... maybe she could be my Mail Assistant? I could teach her to use the franking machine? Ok... again I digress.
I was gone a grand total of 5 hours. I found myself rushing home after lunch as I wanted to be with her. I missed her immensely, yet in the same sense, I think the time apart did us both well....
Let me explain...
I think I am a better mother for her when I have had a little room to breath, a little time to myself. I can only speak for myself and the relationship between Avie and I. We spend so much time together, as we should and as I relish, and it is nice to reconnect with friends and most importantly myself.
Today I could wear clothing I didn't have to think about having to manoeuvre to feed her, a necklace that I didn't have to think about being broken from my neck by busy, exploring little hands.
I feel the 'Mum' she gets is refreshed and revived, ready to sing 'Row your Boat' with gusto for the trillionth time and that is what we did this afternoon; played, sang, took photographs (well I took photographs, she is my muse.)
She had a lovely time time with Granny; they went into town and for a walk, played at home with the blocks and her new favourite toy (my necklaces) and shared some oatmeal. It was reassuring to know that she was, well, OK... and ok with me away for a little while. I have stamped on my heart that beautiful smile I got when I came home, the same smile Grant gets when he returns everyday.
I'm so pleased it went well, for the both of you. Really great to read. Well done you for going, it must have been so hard.. but yes once you got into the swing of it I'm sure you felt a wave of replenishment. We all need a break or just a few hours to yourself.. from time to time, and there is nothing wrong with that.. xx
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